An explanation for my previouse post.

oh I can't say for sure what hapeend. Last night was just a bad night. I just felt like all of that. Not because of any thing. I have wanted the sun latly, and missed it. thats true. I really want to go out side and run really fast, and hard no matter how much it hurts my body...I can't. and at the same time I have NO energy to even go walk. I am craving some good, tough, aggressive physical activity. Like running or boxing. um yeah wont be doing either for a really long time. I don't do well on little sleep, I am sure that also has alot to do with it. my sciatic nerve kills me everytime I lay down to sleep, and I end up not sleeping. witch turns me into a mommy with the patience of a three year old. three year olds don't handle that well. I want my kids to listen. maybe not the first time, I realize thats a lot to ask of two and three year olds. but maybe like the 10th time, is that too much to ask? yes! It also feels like everything is lose inside of me. so even just turning and bending does weird things to me. I want to put in my head phones and turn up my music so laud that I can't hear myself sing, and then be left alone to zone out. I want to climb a mountian SO high. I want to be able to eat anything. I am so tired of having to force down something because I have to eat, when there is really only one thing in the world I want and i don't have it. 2nd trimester should get better. it didn't. it got worse. so in short....probobly hormones.