my quirks

Sometimes I don't want to communicate. sometimes, i just want to be left alone because I want to be. Sometimes I withdraw and pull back. sometimes I only want to talk to or see pepole on my terms. And some times I am so tired of being needed i shirk all responsibility and be selfish. and oh wow, I just realized something from that last sentance, as I was typing it. too personal to share. but weird how that happend.

one song....

there is one song I cannot listen to without tearing up. it is most beautiful. Dixie chicks, God speed, (sweet dreams). Almost a luliby, but so tragic at the same time. so much emotion in the lyrics. I suggest you look it up, and give it a listen.

January happenings of the Halls

a post because I really want to play dr mario but I don't have it on my machine and devin is using his. So I guess I will write aboutthe things I have been meaning to write about.


A funny story about the girls....
We were at grandmas (donna). Lily, Mikelle and I, were leaving. We walk out the door and the girls take off down the steet side by side instead of going to the car. Four doors down one of thier cusins and three or four other kids (tongan boys) were playing outside. that is where they were headed. So when i catch up this is what I hear. lily "hey you guys stop that!" in her most commanding voice with both hands on her hips, with every bit of attitude you can picture. then Mikelle "yeah, stop that!" or something like that, ready to back up her big sis if any body decides to get crazy! so i say "hey lily what are you talking about whats going on?". and the oldest boy says "yeah what are you talking about?". she just looks right at him and says "I don't know." mind you she ran up to them, and said all this without any provocation. they had not said a word to either of my girls. so when she said she did not know the boys all started laughing. So did I. I know, my kids about to get her butt kicked by a bunch of poly kids and I am laughing. befor you judge me, picture it and you wwould laugh too. these kids are big for their age, my girls are small for their age and they run up to them and start causing trouble. so when they laughed she says "oh yeah, you want me to show you something funny?", and Kelle says "you want to see funny?' they then turn around and Run home. oh my gosh I laughed my butt off all the way home. The ting is, Lilys a little girl, but she could probobly hold her own against them at least. but it would not suprise me if she kicked some trash. she can be mean. Figures Devin and I would have a fighter. neother of us ever got in a fight with anyone other then our siblings. I wish you all could have seen it. I am still laughing.
I am 17 weeks. have felt the baby move a few times. I deffinetly have a baby belly but I am happy to report that as of my appointment last week I have not gained any weight. now thats not my doing. thats just because i had more then enough to feed a growing baby, when I started. so I mught not gain 60 lbs. that sounds nice, but I still don't think I will gain no weight. I would bet like 20-30. witch is normal. the Dr said if i keep eating healthy and gettign exersize, I could gain 0-15 and still be great. so we shall see. I am not craving chocolate. infact i don;t want it. I want fresh tomatoes and other out of season freash goodness.
Devin did not take the job he interviewd for even though in many ways it seemed perfect. but after really thinking and praying alot about it, he just felt like it was not the right carreer move for him. did not know why. but could not deny the feeling. that was over a weekend that he was really thinking about it and praying, and decided to follow his feeling. when he went back to work the next week it was confirmed to him he made the right choice and that he needed the interview to see that he is not stuck where he's at and is happy. I am SO glad he followed his feeling. I need to trust him more often. If he had done what I said he would have taken it and made the wrong move. So proud of you Devin!
well thats all. now you know whats been goin on over here.

Side effects of pregnancy.

a warning from your local pregnant mother. side effects of pregnancy. If you experiance these side effects, you need to see a Dr. you might be pregant.
Common side effects include, but are not limited to........
nausia, vomiting, loss of apitite, increased apitite, heart burn, indigestion, constipation, diarria, loss of bladder control, hemeriods, dehydration, muscle aches, sore breasts, swelling, weight gain, stretch marks, mood swings, irritability, depression, obsesive compulsive or bipolar behavior, extreem fatigue, insomnia, head aches.


p.s this was meant to be funny, in a dead seriouse sort of way.

So lets hear it. what did I leave out all you people out there who have ever been or ever known someone who has been, pregnant?

15 weeks.

SO SICK OF FEELING THIS WAY!!!head ache, nausia, hunger, nausia, heart burn head ache. tired, can't sleep, head ache, hunger, nausia, heart burn. 15 weeks, shoul dbe getting better. only getting worse and adding more sucky symptoms to teh pot. Yay!

the reasons I wish i was rich....

I want someone else to plan shop and cook healthy meals for me. and the endless resources to pay for good fresh foods.
I want someone else to handle my budget, just give me my spending money and I will stay within that. (if I had enough to by nice towels when i wanted new ones, or new sheets that would be rich.
What things can't you bring your self to buy, that would make you feel rich if you did?

An explanation for my previouse post.

oh I can't say for sure what hapeend. Last night was just a bad night. I just felt like all of that. Not because of any thing. I have wanted the sun latly, and missed it. thats true. I really want to go out side and run really fast, and hard no matter how much it hurts my body...I can't. and at the same time I have NO energy to even go walk. I am craving some good, tough, aggressive physical activity. Like running or boxing. um yeah wont be doing either for a really long time. I don't do well on little sleep, I am sure that also has alot to do with it. my sciatic nerve kills me everytime I lay down to sleep, and I end up not sleeping. witch turns me into a mommy with the patience of a three year old. three year olds don't handle that well. I want my kids to listen. maybe not the first time, I realize thats a lot to ask of two and three year olds. but maybe like the 10th time, is that too much to ask? yes! It also feels like everything is lose inside of me. so even just turning and bending does weird things to me. I want to put in my head phones and turn up my music so laud that I can't hear myself sing, and then be left alone to zone out. I want to climb a mountian SO high. I want to be able to eat anything. I am so tired of having to force down something because I have to eat, when there is really only one thing in the world I want and i don't have it. 2nd trimester should get better. it didn't. it got worse. so in short....probobly hormones.