Snow!

I love this storm. it is awesome! yeah sure its not even Halloween yet, but what ever! it will all be gone by friday if not sooner. People are complaining all over about it. Honestly i would go play out there in a heart beat, give me a big snow or rain storm over 90+ degrees any day. Its really coming down! You can't see how big the flakes are but they are huge.

a pet peve..........

for some reason this is bugging me and I feel compelled to tell you all. You know when someone has a baby and they announce it like in an e mail or face book or some thing like that? I can't stand it when they say....." weighing in at....." Its not a wrestling match or a boxing match. I can't really explain why it bothers me so much. but it does. They don't weigh in. they are weighed ON the scale. I always notice and then re read it "weighed........... how ever much, or weighs. any who. It just drives me crazy. very silly I know.

foul of the air

I have birds! and birds I have a plenty! My rose bushes are sworming with these little finch type birds! and guess what they are doing.....eating. and I am going to bet they are eating bugs....you can read that as spiders. YAY! I love the birds. I could sit in the front window and watch them all afternoon. they are so busy. running here. flying there. then back again for something more. They make me happy. thank you Father in Heaven for my birds.

I HATE SPIDERS! amd they are in a plenty at my house. I have seen more spiders on the outside of my house since august then I have ever seen in years before. Did I mention i hate them. and I know they are in my house too. ok outside they have a purpose. eating other bugs....inside my house they do not. I will squish or otherwise deal with them on my own inside. But if they are on the outside of my house I know they are inside too. EWWW!

Don't know what it is but my head aches are back in full swing. like three to four a week. It could be that I am not getting enough sleep. But I am trying and it is not working. Very frustrating. I wish there were a cure. for a few monthes they seemed to be getting better....like once a week to every two or three weeks. any advcie? I am really done having this pain.

I am tired. sleepy and general exaustion. I think i say that alot. but it is true. when I am tired I am grumpy or at least I sound that way to myself. especially when i write. so I will wrtie about somethings that I can't be grumpy about. in an attempt to sound not grumpy. because if i don't sound grumpy when I re read what I wrote then maybe I wont feel grumpy. never mind the fact that I should have been asleep two hours ago and i would not be so tired right now. But I feel like I don't get a good chance for some rejuvinating me time unless I stay up late enough that i get a few hours after my kids go to sleep. if I tryed to get that in the morning I would be up at 5:00 am and that does not just make me grumpy but actually makes me angry and is just bad all around. sorry about the digression from happy things before I even got started.
I have noticed how big Mikelle is. Holy! she is so grown up. she is as old as Lily was when Mikelle was born. and I am NOT even pregnant. Yay! I can't believe I was PG and then had a baby when Lily was only 20 monthes old. NEVER AGAIN! Mikelle is a really good listener. she follows directions pretty good too. well that is if she is fed and not tired and as a result is happy when you give the directions. She speaks so well. and can be so silly. Also I noticed she really looks like Lily did at 20 months.
Lily is also so grown up. I forget that she was mikelles age or what she was like at mikelles age. I guess I just think she has always been this grown up. she LOVEs school. every day I take her she is saying bye to me before I even open the car door, and she talks about her school all day. things are starting to stick from school. she knows that letters make sounds. not what sounds they make. It is funny she will say a word like "milk. milk starts with a p. it says duh duh." so its all mixed up but she is understanding that words start with letters, and letters make sounds. also she loves to do her "homework." she does not actually have home work. but she likes to pretend with a paper. and I have been making good use of the willingness by reinforcing what they learn about at school. she has also recently started to ask for me to tell her a story at bed time. so i make up my own versions of Little house on the prary stories, the names are all the same and the basic details but the events are made up by me.I usually try to teach her something from what happens in the story. like helping mommy. I know I am cunning aren't I? or being a good friend or sister. or what ever. I have to make up my own stories because they have to have an ending and it has to be dark in her room so I could not read the books any way. but this way I figure I can introduce her to Little house on the prary so when she is a little older I can read them with her and she will find them familiar. some times she will ask me during the day what did Mary do last night? I usually tell her that Mary when to bed just like Lily did. because often the story includes Mary and Laura and little Grace going to bed. And she asks me every night to tell her a story about Mary.
In church a while ago the stake president talked to us. I felt the desire to make it a goal to attent every meeting of stake conference that I am invited to, so all but the Priesthood meeting. I have only ever attended the Sunday meeting regularly and the adult session once. I hope I can do it. I always learn so much when i get to pay attention. I also am really excited for General conference this year. well i always am. I Love that I can listen to it on the radio while I clean. When i was little we had to go to the stake center an hour away and sit in hard chairs and watch it over satellite broadcast.
I am so happy that fall is coming. I love the cooler weather where the leaves start to change and fall off the tree. I love sweater weather!
there. do I sound grumpy? I hope not cause I did not write about the grumpy things but I do have long list of em.

I have been feeling really......misfit for the most part latly. I need a best friend. one who is not family. As dear to me as my sisters are (and I love that they are my friends), I want someone to have things in common with that did not grow up in the same house as me. Someone who will not look down at my scrounginess, a person who can relate to how I grew up, and understand who I am now because of it. Someone to learn from and with. Someone who's kids are not perfect so when we play together I am not self contoise about the fact that my kids are the only ones not siting there still as can be eatign their lunch quietly. I love those kids and I wish mine were like that but they are not and I can't make them be. and everytime I am around those type of kids I cannot enjoy myself because I feel bad. I know that what you see is not the whole picture. Any way, for w while now I have just wanted a friend who gets me. I can make friends by being friendly easily. but what I want is someone who I really feel a connection with. Another problem I often have is I meet someone who I fit with easily and we connect and then I don't know what to do after that. One of my major goals for this year was to make and keep a friend. When my sister lost her best friend, and i started to learn more about their relationship, it really made me want something like that. It has been years since I have had a close friend who is not related to me. maybe I have isolated myself with my sisters. I thought i made a best friend while serving my mission, but it turns out it was more one of those connections that stayed on the mission. So when we came back we basicly went our seprate ways. before that I would say a few roomates fit the catagory, but they all got married and it has been hard to maintian those relationships now.Either I have kids and they don't or our husbands don't mix or they moved far away, or something. My absolute best friends have actually been 2 guys. And those relationships eventually became different (because I got married) or ended for other reasons. I know that often people come into our lives when they are needed and then they go out of our lives when we move on. I get that. but where is that person for the stage I am in now? Ultimatly Devin is my best friend. But I feel like I need a woman friend......that is not three years old. I might have found one. but what do I do now? And what if she is not looking for a new best friend. It all sounds so Jr High-ish. But those are my real feelings.