Friday, December 21, 2007
36 weeks!
I had my first of my weekly appointments yesterday. thats when they do the strep B test and they start to check you every week. I tryed SO hard not to get my hopes up that something, anything, would be happening. Well, NOTHING is happening. completly closed! Normally thats not a bad thing yet, because I am only 36 weeks. but most people are not worried that it will never happen. no matter how hard I try not to think about it, I still do. I think I will end up making it to and having the c section. why can't I just be normal? thats how it works. And has since the beginning of man. I am greatful that medicine has advanced enough that I can have my baby and the chances of us both living through it is %99.9. I am freaked out to have a c section still, and freaked out to have a vaginal delivery, because I don't know what thats like, and because I do know what the c section is like. I wanted to cry yesterday when she told me that I was closed. she tryed to reasure me that there is plenty of time for that to change, but I don't believe it will. rrrrrg! I think that is why I am so frustrated with people asking me when I will have the baby. because I DON"T KNOW!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Oh, Pookie. I'm sorry. I can't do much (heck, you can't even do much), but I'll pray for you here.
I was glad to see you really are blogging. There wasn't nearly as much time between this post and the previous one as there was between the first two.
The scriptures speak to your frustration: "And it came to pass" or "This too shall pass away." And it will. Much in life is designed to teach us patience and the whole pregnancy and childbirth thing has got to be at the top of the list. The trials come in different packages. For some, Amy and Mary, it comes in the wanting a baby package. Neither you or Camilla have trouble getting pregnant but both of you have had trouble getting the baby here and fear labor and delivery. I wish as a parent I could reassure you as you do Lily with a kiss to make it better but it is a lot more complicated than that and none of us can be so naive as to imagine that nothing ever goes wrong by our definition. So we cling to hope, faith, patience--sometimes with some grumbling and fear--and then it does pass somehow. All of you pregnant gals are constantly on the prayer roll and in our individual prayers and thoughts for we want nothing more than for everything to go well.
Post a Comment