on and on and on...by me.

I think I don't really believe that people other then a few direct family members read my blog. So I write like I am talking to those few people. then I read it knowing that anyone can read it and its just all sort of strange. Any way. If you don't know me and you still find this interesting to read. you are weird. I just go on and on about the things in my head and I would think that someone who did not know me would realy be bored.
Any who, both of my kids are taking long naps and I was thinking I would go get some stuff done like fold the laundry or somehting else that I can't do when they are awake. but this feels better. Lets see..Kelle is getting so big! she smiles and laughs and can sit up from a laying down position just by using her abdominal muscles if you hold her legs down. I can't believe we will celebrate lil's 2nd birthday! she is growing up so fast! At the same time I some times forget that she is only two. I expect so much out of her or at least something other then two year old behavior. ITs not fair to her and I have to remind myself all the time. but she acts so big. she has started to use sentences and describe emotions. She'll tell me..."mommy I'm sad". its so cute! and such a big girl thing. Devin is back to his regular shift for a while. I think I like this better. I love having him here during the day, but I like him home at night better. he gets more sleep=is much happier=everyone is happier.
I have been so worried latly about the future of our economy and our government,what it means for my family. I woke up the other morning feling anxious and I actually had the thought.."I wonder where we will all be this time next year." with gas prices going up 5 cents every 3 to 5 days and food prices skyrocketing, I can't help but worry. I fear there will be a truckers strike because they can't afford the fuel and we will all be in bad shape. I worry so much about that stuff that it becomes real to me almost as if its already happend.
Am I the only one who worries about it that much? Or does everyone feel like me?

ahh the many things that clutter my mind.

I have been absent from my blogging for a long time. I think like what a month? well the whole sergury thing got me down and then you have recovery and then you have a two year old and a baby and a house and a husbend who's been doing the jobs of both of us for about 8 weeks, and church and then you find in there some how, time to bless the baby and feed 70 people, and then your just plain old tired. and at that point blogging wuld be really nice to do because it would mean I had a minute to my self, but when that minute comes so does exaustion and then hopefuly some sleep. but I have healed mostly now, the blessing when really well, and was so beautiful I really felt the spirit that day and had been needing to so badly. Mikelle was just beautiful in her dress that mandie made for her. and dispite how much she disagrees, she is SO talented! well mikelle is waking up from her nap, and right on que lily started crying and is now waking up. and devin is not waking up so I have to end this. I had really hoped to get some stuff that had been on my mind out. but oh well. for now this will be it.

Its been a while... I have some thoughts to share.

I have not been posting or really checking e mails or anything for a while. Lack of sleep is to blame. But that is not what I want to post about because today I am trying to be possitive and active, I think if I am I will get more done, and I will feel better. I was talking with a friend and she was saying she feels like she does not belong. All her friends are married and have about two kids, she is in a relationship going on five years, that most likely wont progress to marriage. And she wants to get married and have kids, and do the things others her age are doing. I was tinking about the whole age thing. It seems strange to me that people my age are so worried about getting married and having kids soon because they feel like they are getting old. I'll only be 27 this year. but what I realized was no matter if it haapens at 25 or 35, once you get married there will still be challanges to over come and things you want. like children, and once you have children there will still be cfhallanges and things to over come, like getting a house. and once you do that another or maybe its other things for other people, like a job or an education or those same things but for your children. there will always be progress to be made and things to work towards. there is no end all. we have to continue to work (on achieving goals) all the days of our lives. I know its esey for me to say because I got an education, went on a mission, I got married, I have a house and I have two children(and when I say that it sounds like I have been so busy, and I have done a lot.) But that does not mean there are not other things that I want to do. I want to eventually work again, do massage part time. I want to go back to school. I want my husbend to get an education, I want to learn spanish, serve another mission, and do so many more things. So its not like I have everything, and now there is nothing more for me to do. I think a lot of my friends my age who are single think that. But its not true, we are just working on different things.

Lily plants one on Dad!

you have to click on the image o view the whole thing.

They are growing so fast!

Mikelle is two weeks and lily is 21 months!

thought thise was cute.....

"You never know what a girl is worth,
You’ll have to wait and see;
But every woman in a noble place,
A girl once used to be."
President Monson paraphrased it in his talk to the Sisters in october 2007. not sure of its origional auther or if there is more.

Sleep deprivation...

Amy hit it dead on when she described it as being "so tired it hurts!". I see why the military would use sleep deprivation to break a person down. You can get so tired that you can not hold back any longer. I got 6 hours of sleep in a row last night! And trust me. I needed it so bad! Then my loving husbend, took the morning off to stay home and let me sleep in till 10. so I actually in total got 8 1/2 hours. It was soo nice. I still need about another three nights of that much or more, but this was SO needed. Thank you thank you thank you, Devin!