Tuesday, March 8, 2011
First, These are my thuoghts about my life, I am not judging yours. I have been thinking alot latly about what are things I do that are a weste of time and what are things I do that are not a waste, wrather are a worthy use of time, but maybe not if you look at what are other priorities. caring for my kids or listening to a freind. cleaning my house or giving attention to my children...that type of thing. not sure that makes sence. I saw a show about a lady who left her kids with her husband (eventually got devorced) to persue what she wanted because she felt it was more important and that she was being swallowed up in motherhood. she said she did not want to be a mother and wife any more....after 20 years. needless to say she has gotten ALOT of critisism about it. I say needless because she wrote a book and has saught publicity through interviews and I think no matter what you are doing if you do that people will have something to say about your choices, not to mention if it is something that people get all fired up about. my personal issues with that subject aside....It got me asking the question am I doing/ persuing what I want to? is the life I live the one I am chosing or chose. Or am I merly going along with it? and the answere to those questions are this. YES! I am actually doing what I always dreamed of and set goals along my life to help me achive that plan. is it hard, and I complain and some times I wonder what I was thinking. YES! The life I live is the one I CHOSE and CONTINUE to choose. and I don't do it blindly or because someone else told me to. I have studied it out extensivly and tryed my hardest to prepare for it. Do I still fall short? YUP! every single day. but like I just told lily who is learning about winning and losing. It is not the end that is the most important or even the best, its the game that matters, how you play that is what is important. I realized I would wrather lose myself or let me say that different, I would wrather become the service I am giving to others then create a master piece that is me. This applies to my family the most. I serve them because I love them. and when it comes to my kids, well I brought them into this world, I teach them and help them and will continue the rest of my life because I want to live my life so that they don't just hear, but see and feel that I love them. If they have nothing else in the world, they have a mother that loves them and will forever. I believe parents have a responsibility to the children they bring into this world.
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4 comments:
I love this post, Tali. This is something I've thought about a lot lately - maybe it's having three kids, which makes me feel officially established and old in the world of motherhood/wifehood. I don't know. But although sometimes I see women with glamourous lives, or doing big, "exciting" things, and although I wish I sometimes could do that, or could take a break for a day and live it all for myself, I realize that really, this is the life I love, and have. Sure, I feel like the perennially underpaid maid (not underpaid by my family, more like underpaid by the universe), but also, I get to spend my life with three little girls who all love me, and look up to me, and whom I am teaching every day, even if it doesn't always feel like it. And I would rather give myself up in service, than "make something of myself." Also, I remind myself of times and seasons a lot, and that my girls won't be young for forever, and someday I'll be able to pursue a lot more interests outside of the immediate home.
I think so much nowadays the world is focused on personal fulfillment - that if you are not looking out for yourself first, that you are doing life wrong, and you need to make sure you're happy (by pursuing your interests above all else), but I think ultimately that leads to a lot more sorrow in the world.
Thora I agree that sometimes personal fulfilment can lead to selfishness and in certain areas that can be really damaging. how ever I don't think it does all the time. I wish more people would work to fulfil their dreams first then have children. that way they don't have the regret and longing for a need never met.
Katey I do agree that its ok to not be a parent. ie, never becoming one in the first place or choosing adoption. but to decide you want to be a and mother (or fatehr) but change your mind when your kids are in elementary and Jr high I think is selfish.I guess in that reguard I can't really seperate my personal issues with the topic because I know how I have felt as a child, teen and adult and that plays a large part in why I feel the way I do.
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