giult hormones and complaining.

I know I am a hormonal mess. As my friend Jen pointed out I have hormones up to my eye balls, and over flowing actually. But......
It is not good. not good at all. how do I control them so i dont complain all the time? if I am not complaining out laud I am in my head. and that is followed by guilt that I don't love or rather can't stand anything about my day. then I realize I am complaining about everything including taking care of my family and having thoughts that all I really want is to go away. FAR away from everyone who needs me. And then my family thinks and feels like it is their fault I am unhappy. and that makes me feel worse. I try. I try to love changing poopy diapers, breaking up fights and being puked on 24 hours a day. but it does not work. I read back in my blog, same thing with after kelle was born. I don't want my kids to grow up and think that I don't love them, that I never had time for them even though I was right there and that I could not stand them. but how will they avoid thinking that way if that is the way I act? It is a struggle to control my emotions/hormones and not just be bottling them up.
Someone told me you cry so much after you have a baby because thats how you get rid of the hormones. so cry a lot! they were teasing. but seriously............